if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
