i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
