There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
