ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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