The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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