new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
