so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
