your parents love me but you hate me
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
