Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
