i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
