He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
