They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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