so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
