he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
