these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
