You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
