Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize