i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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