That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
