About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
