brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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