i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
