his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
