Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
