if i died would you start the facebook group?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
