What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I want to fling myself into the sun
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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