whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize