Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
