I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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