Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
