you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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