He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
