Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
