i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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