Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
