can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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