We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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