i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
