I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
