i permit you to call me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
