so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
