U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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