i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
