New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
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