just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
