At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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