Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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