i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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