btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
