I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
