Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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