I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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