I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
