We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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