plz talk dirty to me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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