I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
