and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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