Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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