They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
