I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
