Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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